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Bad News, Cleveland Browns Fans: Your Suffering Does Not Qualify You for Medical Marijuana

Bad News, Cleveland Browns Fans: Your Suffering Does Not Qualify You for Medical Marijuana
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PHOTO BY EMANUEL WALLACE

If you’re hoping to self-medicate with a little weed to soothe the sorrows of another losing football season, you’re going to have to do it extra-legally.

The Ohio Medical Board yesterday ruled that being a fan of the Cincinnati Bengals or Cleveland Browns is not a qualifying condition that makes fans eligible to purchase legal medical marijuana via the state’s program.

Cincinnati resident Vincent Morano turned in an application to the medical board asking for the designation. The board’s refusal to consider football fandom for medical marijuana eligibility isn’t exactly a surprise, but the body did also turn down more serious ailments, including depression, insomnia and opioid disorders.

Anxiety, autism and a wasting disorder called cachexia will move on to the next step in the process, however, receiving expert reviews as a prelude to possible inclusion on the list of eligible conditions.

Currently, Ohio residents can get a medical marijuana card if they have any of the following conditions: AIDS, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, Alzheimer’s disease, cancer, chronic traumatic encephalopathy, Crohn’s disease, epilepsy, fibromyalgia, glaucoma, hepatitis C, HIV, inflammatory bowel disease, multiple sclerosis, severe chronic pain, Parkinson’s disease, post-traumatic stress disorder, sickle cell anemia, spinal cord disease or injury, Tourette’s syndrome, traumatic brain injury or ulcerative colitis.

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